Post by Roanoke on Jan 27, 2004 20:41:25 GMT -5
Right up there at the (near) top of my list of people/things that annoy me are the trashy people that appear at the pay phones at grocery stores. Now, it's not that they are there, using the pay phone at the grocery store that irks me. No, what annoys me is how loudly they use these phones. Chief among my examples would be a specimen of African American woman I recently spotted outside the Tom Thumb that I shop at. She acted as though the pay phone belonged to her for as much emotion and as many decibels as she poured forth from her vocal cords.
Actually, in her own mind, the pay phone probably did belong to her since I'm sure she'd had her phone disconnected, or even better yet, didn't have a phone at all. She screamed and carried on, saying, "Bitch, whatchu gonna do, I's at yo' house an' I called you out an' shit girl, you's a pussyass, 'cause you shore didn't want nona what I has ta give. I'ma beat the shit outta you if I get my hands on you! I tol' you, he's my man but you didn't wanna listen! Don't you be talkin' no shit ta me girl, or I smack dat shit right outta you! Yeah, you think you can? OK, why don't you come and get it on, den? Bitch, I'm right here outsida Tom Thumb! Girl I'ma break every bone inside that shitty little body of yours til all dere be left is a big pile of black shit! Well, I'm tellin' you girl, if you don't gimme that money, I'm gonna beat it outta you! I was at your house and you wouldn't give me no time in the day an' now all you wants ta do is play games. I'ma learn you, bitch, I'ma learn you..."
Now, as everyone knows, even happy ghetto black people (if that is not in fact an oxymoron) repeat the exact same thing at least 4 additional times before moving on to the next thought pattern. When angry, the repetition is at least 5-6 times. I have filtered all of this out here. So, what you just read is a cleaned-up version of the portion of a payphone conversation that I was sooooo lucky AND priviledged to have been able to have heard. Of course, I'd have had to have been deaf (there's a tongue twister tense for you) not to have been able to have heard it. Though I'm not claimimg to be a decibel expert, I'm gonna assume that her voice's decibel range had to be somewhere around the 70-90 area. And I could still hear her shouting (though I could no longer hear the individual words) more than halfway down a 1/2 - 3/4 mile road back to my house.
I guess she really thought in her mind that the recipient of her belligerent call would perceive her as being authoritative and commanding (and being deserving of) respect even though her call WAS BEING PLACED FROM A PAYPHONE IN A GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT ! ! ! !
Actually, in her own mind, the pay phone probably did belong to her since I'm sure she'd had her phone disconnected, or even better yet, didn't have a phone at all. She screamed and carried on, saying, "Bitch, whatchu gonna do, I's at yo' house an' I called you out an' shit girl, you's a pussyass, 'cause you shore didn't want nona what I has ta give. I'ma beat the shit outta you if I get my hands on you! I tol' you, he's my man but you didn't wanna listen! Don't you be talkin' no shit ta me girl, or I smack dat shit right outta you! Yeah, you think you can? OK, why don't you come and get it on, den? Bitch, I'm right here outsida Tom Thumb! Girl I'ma break every bone inside that shitty little body of yours til all dere be left is a big pile of black shit! Well, I'm tellin' you girl, if you don't gimme that money, I'm gonna beat it outta you! I was at your house and you wouldn't give me no time in the day an' now all you wants ta do is play games. I'ma learn you, bitch, I'ma learn you..."
Now, as everyone knows, even happy ghetto black people (if that is not in fact an oxymoron) repeat the exact same thing at least 4 additional times before moving on to the next thought pattern. When angry, the repetition is at least 5-6 times. I have filtered all of this out here. So, what you just read is a cleaned-up version of the portion of a payphone conversation that I was sooooo lucky AND priviledged to have been able to have heard. Of course, I'd have had to have been deaf (there's a tongue twister tense for you) not to have been able to have heard it. Though I'm not claimimg to be a decibel expert, I'm gonna assume that her voice's decibel range had to be somewhere around the 70-90 area. And I could still hear her shouting (though I could no longer hear the individual words) more than halfway down a 1/2 - 3/4 mile road back to my house.
I guess she really thought in her mind that the recipient of her belligerent call would perceive her as being authoritative and commanding (and being deserving of) respect even though her call WAS BEING PLACED FROM A PAYPHONE IN A GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT ! ! ! !
