Black and White Comedy/Drama

[Roanoke]

These episodes just keep gettin better and better. Today on the way to work I saw a BLACK lady on the verge of hysteria. She was relaying a tale to the transit police that was just too good for my ears to pass up. Normally I would not linger in this area when waiting for the train but the way this lady was carrying on was just too much. She was screaming "Oh my God, oh my God I can't believe he took it out. That sick bastard. He just whipped it out and started pointing it at me 'n shit!" The transit police were trying to calm her down but she wouldn't have it. Across the street there was this toothless, filthy looking man sitting in the back end of a transit police car, laughing his ass off, pointing at her, cackling like a maniac. The police said, "Calm down, mam. Can you tell us why he did it? Was he provoked in any way?" She said, "I don't know why he did it! He fuckin' crazy, dats why! He just tapped me on da back n' pulled it out fo' me ta see! It was all small and wrinkly! Oh goddamn, that sick motherfucker! He asked me to touch it and I screamed, Driver, he'p me, he gonna rape me! That crazy fuckin' honky, he started strokin' it right in front of me, that nasty fuckin' sonofabitch..."

I didn't get to find out if she was on a bus or train when it happened because at that point I had to leave or else miss my train. Fraught with more melodrama than a Spanish soap opera, the situation was very funny nonetheless.

[bluemojo]

Jesus Christ man. Either you are some sort of 6-dimensional weirdness magnet, ... or you ride the bus/train every day.

[Roanoke]

Yep, I do ride the bus and train everyday. And actually, I've got this theory about all of these sequences transpiring when I'm around. I'm not the 6-dimensional weirdness magnet, but rather I think all these crazies (be they BLACK or WHITE) are in fact quantum singularities and I somehow have this inherent ability to be pulled into their inter-dimensional vortex. The gravitational collapse they create is just too much for me to avoid and I am helpless to being pulled into their dark matter swill.

See, when astronomers talk about BLACK holes and WHITE holes (WHITE holes are presumably how I would subsequently get back out again), I think that what they reall mean to say is BLACK assholes and WHITE assholes. I think that astronomers are actually using the terms BLACK and WHITE holes to euphemistically make fun of BLACKS and WHITES. That makes them the biggest group of Equal-Opportunity Bigots in existence today.

So there.

[JaceMachine]

"You can be my lover if you're BLACK or WHITE!*"



* Must be boy child, under the age of thirteen years of age.

[Roanoke]

Let's just say that I'm glad I don't qualify for any of your asterisks.