Post by Roanoke on Feb 26, 2004 19:03:33 GMT -5
So there was this black man who came onto the bus today on my way to work. There didn't seem to be anything too out of the ordinary about him... at first. The first thing I noticed was that he was carrying a large push broom. When he had stepped completely inside the bus, he abruptly gave the broom a very passionate embrace and planted a wet kiss onto its wooden handle.
He then proceeded to find a seat... for his broom first. He told the broom rather emphatically, "Don't you move from there, now, ya hear? I ain't gonna have none o' your boolsheet from last time!" The seat he had chosen was, unfortunately, directly behind mine. I decided to play it cool for the moment and remain in my current seat.
Next he went to the front of the bus to pay his fare. When he turned around, he was smiling maliciously with the ticket held in his hands in a manner similar to the way you'd imagine a very paranoid person would hold a hand of cards, i.e. about two inches away from his face. His eyes sparkled like the brightest gems of insanity, conveying a vacantness that was much akin to staring into a portal of brain-annihilating madness. He was petting the ticket, as if in his mind, it was an actual living entity.
Once he approached his seat I could see and hear that he was, in fact, also talking to the ticket, whispering sweet nothings into its nonexistent ear. When he sat down behind me I began to have misgivings about having not chosen earlier to move to another seat. He was telling the ticket, and I quote, "Do y'all see all dem penises? Dey everywhere. You and him (pointing to his broom) will like them all. We gonna have us some fun wit' dem all later on."
I got up and moved the [glow=blue,2,300]FUCK[/glow] out of there right then. I didn't know what that fucker was talking about and I wasn't about ready to find out or give him the opportunity to strike up a conversation with me. [glow=blue,2,300]No thank you! No fucking way!!![/glow]#nosmileys
He then proceeded to find a seat... for his broom first. He told the broom rather emphatically, "Don't you move from there, now, ya hear? I ain't gonna have none o' your boolsheet from last time!" The seat he had chosen was, unfortunately, directly behind mine. I decided to play it cool for the moment and remain in my current seat.
Next he went to the front of the bus to pay his fare. When he turned around, he was smiling maliciously with the ticket held in his hands in a manner similar to the way you'd imagine a very paranoid person would hold a hand of cards, i.e. about two inches away from his face. His eyes sparkled like the brightest gems of insanity, conveying a vacantness that was much akin to staring into a portal of brain-annihilating madness. He was petting the ticket, as if in his mind, it was an actual living entity.
Once he approached his seat I could see and hear that he was, in fact, also talking to the ticket, whispering sweet nothings into its nonexistent ear. When he sat down behind me I began to have misgivings about having not chosen earlier to move to another seat. He was telling the ticket, and I quote, "Do y'all see all dem penises? Dey everywhere. You and him (pointing to his broom) will like them all. We gonna have us some fun wit' dem all later on."
I got up and moved the [glow=blue,2,300]FUCK[/glow] out of there right then. I didn't know what that fucker was talking about and I wasn't about ready to find out or give him the opportunity to strike up a conversation with me. [glow=blue,2,300]No thank you! No fucking way!!![/glow]#nosmileys
